Re-center and Prioritize Yourself Meaningfully
In today's world, things move at a speed we are not designed to keep up with. Between the expectation of constant availability via your phone, 24/7 news cycles, and multiple streams of communication from work, it is incredibly easy to become overwhelmed. We are living in a time of near constant contradiction: work from home & control your schedule, but be sure to take initiative and stay busy; stay informed of the news, but take a break to take care of yourself; tend to your support system, but you don’t owe anyone anything. It's exhausting to even type! We are receiving messaging constantly about how to be. The bottom line is that we cannot take care of ourselves unless we are intentional and proactive about doing so.
For the most part, we are not conditioned to prioritize ourselves and instead are encouraged to tend to things outside of ourselves (a measure of productivity at work, caring for others, providing for others, etc). Realistically, we cannot fulfill these roles to the best of our ability and in the healthiest way without touching base with ourselves first. What does it look like to prioritize yourself on a day where your schedule is spoken for? What does it feel like to be present with how you are before putting your head down and working?
Practice Prioritizing Yourself
Find somewhere quiet and begin an internal dialogue. Approach yourself with curiosity- maybe you just responded to someone with a tone you didn’t quite expect, or maybe you just feel “off.” Sometimes we can be alerted to avoiding unnamed emotion by recognizing we’re “in a mood.” Ask yourself what is on your mind and what’s in your heart. Many times, we dull emotion by just carrying on with business as usual, though it sticks around and will compound over time if we don’t give it space. Try to name what you’re feeling and where it exists in your body. If you're out of practice with this, an emotions wheel can be very helpful to have handy. Be inquisitive with yourself past any familiar impulse to shrug it off, and be aware that this may take some time. When we are conditioned to be able to power through and ignore it, it can be harder to find.
Normalize your needs. Perhaps it feels like a big ask to allow time for yourself when the day is already busy, but if we think about it differently it may make more sense. Imagine you are tasked with caring for a pet: that pet’s needs don’t disappear because you have a busy day or a more demanding work schedule. Just as any being requires time, attention, and care, you do too. Your own time, attention, and care should be yours just as they are freely given to others (relatives, children, friends, pets.) In this reflective time, it may become clear to you that you are in need of something, whether that is a rest, a check in with loved ones, a workout, a more intentional meal. It is okay to need these things, and you can honor yourself by tending to these needs. Having needs does not mean you are weak or incapable; in fact, recognizing and tending to those needs is a great strength.
Make it a daily practice. As we tend to be creatures of habit, I suggest to my clients that we add this practice to a pre-existing structure. Maybe once you get home and decompress on the couch, take 5 minutes before turning on the TV. Perhaps it’s something that can be paired with washing your face or brushing your teeth. With practice, it won’t be a long, drawn out process, and will be able to exist naturally throughout the day, and the ability to access, process, and prioritize your own feelings and wellbeing will become second nature.
If you’ve read this and found yourself questioning when the last time you checked in with yourself was, you’re not alone. Give yourself permission and encouragement to know how you’re doing and to take care of yourself. Sometimes, in adopting this practice, we may need a bit more help or guidance, in which case therapy could serve as a great starting point. You can click here to get in touch with one of our therapists and begin prioritizing your needs today.
